I've been having a lot of anxiety about this pregnancy. The spotting I mentioned before worries me, even though our doctor doesn't seem too concerned about it. We did have an ultrasound last week, and saw that the baby was healthy and growing at that time, but for some reason, I can't help but worry. I worry a lot anyway, and I think this shift into motherhood is only making my anxiety worse!
Yesterday was particularly excruciating. My spotting was worse than ever, even though it really wasn't too bad. It made me VERY nervous. We had an open house yesterday for our congregations, and one of our church members is a nurse. She asked me how I was doing, and I told her about what had been going on. She told me that she wasn't too concerned since I had been doing it from the start, and had a successful ultrasound. She also told me about her miscarriage though. It helped me to kind of understand what I would be feeling/seeing if I were to miscarry. Calmed me at first to know that my symptoms aren't all that bad. But later last night, I couldn't sleep. Every gurgle of my stomach, every little anything sent a jolt of fear through me, and I laid there in bed most of the night worried for this little baby of mine.
I know the stress that I experienced last night is NOT good for the baby, but I had a really hard time calming myself. I'm hoping that this anxiety goes away soon. It only adds to my nausea!
Prayers are of course appreciated...for me and this little Squooshy, and for Matt too! He thought I was a handful before - he doesn't know what's coming!